Chapter 2 : How to say ‘no’ politely


In contemporary China, full of attractions, entertainment, lust, luxury products and possibilities blossom, 4 reasons you may be avoiding saying ‘no’ to something:

1. Wanting to help-You are a nice person! You don’t want to let a friend down! However what you need to realize is that not being able to do something for someone when you have a good reason does not make you a bad friend. If they think that then they don’t deserve your friendship anyway!

2. Afraid of being rude-A fear of rudeness is a common reason to not put your foot down to something that you otherwise wouldn’t do. However this is a contrived social etiquette rule. You shouldn’t end up getting yourself into an uncomfortable situation because you were too polite to say no.

3. Fear of conflict-If you are one of those people who shies away from conflict you may find yourself agreeing with something that doesn’t suit you just to avoid an argument. However, by doing this you aren’t being fair to yourself. This is something you are just going to have to get over to make yourself happier in the end.

4. Fear of lost opportunities-You may fear that if you say no to something now, the opportunity will never come around again and you will miss out. However, if the time isn’t right for you to take something don’t take it. An opportunity will be ruined more by you being overwhelmed at having accepted something you should have said no to, than if you simply declined to accept.

5 Scripted out ways for you to say ‘No’:

1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.”

This is one example of a perfectly polite decline. It doesn’t sound like you are ungrateful or rude, it simply sounds like you have too much on your plate to be committing to something else.

2. “Now is not a good time. How about we reconnect at ______ time?”

This is a perfect way to politely turn down plan propositions from a friend. It shows that you are still interested in the idea, you just need to find a time that works better.

3. “I’d love to do this but…”

This response shows enthusiasm in the offer while making it clear that you simply can’t do something.

4. “I’m not the best person to help you with this. Why don’t you try______?”

This statement offers a solution to the questioner’s problem while making it clear that it isn’t for you.

5. “I’m sorry, I can’t”

Even if you aren’t sorry that you can’t do something, you should make it sound as though you were interested so as not to add insult to injury and risk offending the questioner.



1. 想帮助他人:你是个好人!你不想让你的朋友失望!然而你需要知道,不能够为一些人做某些事,并不代表着你就是个坏朋友。如果他们认为你是坏朋友,那么他们就不配你对他们的友情。

2. 担心自己显得粗鲁:担心自己显得粗鲁,是一个勉强自己做不能做的事情的普遍理由。虽然这是一条勉强的社交礼仪规则。你不能因自己过渡礼貌而使自己陷入两难之地。

3. 害怕与人争论:如果你是那种羞于与人争执的人,你会发现仅仅是为了不与人争执,你会勉为其难地做着各种事情。然而,做这些东西对你来说并不公平。这就是你需要克服的东西,以使自己有一个安心的结局。

4. 担心失去机会:你可能会担心如果你对一些事说不,机会就会稍纵即逝。然而,如果时机不对请不要索取。一个应该拒绝的机会也有可能因为你的接受而得不偿失。


1. “我恐怕不能够做这件事,因为我现在刚好有一些要紧的事。”


2. “现在可能时间不太合适。你觉得我们换一个时间怎么样?”


3. “我非常乐意,但是…”


4. “我还不是最适合帮你这个忙的人选,你可以试试某某?”


5. “很抱歉,我做不到。”


The Maker